on knowing when what you needed is no longer what you need

Over the years, my relationship with change changes. Sometimes I welcome it, others I run screaming from the room if you so much as mention it. I guess I could read something into that, like maybe when I run it’s because the change isn’t a good idea, and when I’m happy for it, it is. But I think it also has a lot to do with my current mental state. When I’m overwhelmed, I just need everything to stay the same, for things to be stable, or I fear collapse.

So it’s quite a thing for me to be excited about a big change that’s about to happen in my life. No, stop looking at me like that. I’m not bloody pregnant. I promise (I don’t get nearly enough sleep yet to be walking down that road).

No, I’m talking about work. Over the years, I’ve thought on and off about working for myself, and almost every time I have looked at the idea and laughed, while running screaming from the room. The idea of going out and working on my own, for myself has been daunting to say the least.

But (yes, this is the news) I think I’m finally ready. As I look at the next phase of my life, I know it features adventures, probably quite a lot of hardship, lots of growth and a ton of learning. I hope it features clients, people to collaborate with and fun projects. I look forward to reconnecting with old friends and colleagues, and figuring out what my work life will look like. I’m taking the plunge, guys. I have resigned from my day job, and I’m going to be a freelancer.

Once upon a time, not very long ago, I needed the stability of my 9-5. I needed to know I was going in every day, getting a salary every month, and I needed to know what was expected of me. The company I work for is awesome, it’s filled with incredible, hardworking, passionate people who also have a ton of fun together. I would never trade working there for working somewhere else. The only thing I would trade it for is working for myself, and getting to spend a lot of extra time with my little guy as he grows up.

So, this is my sign to the universe. Universe, if you’re listening, from the beginning of November, I’m all yours. I’m a helluva proofreader (I can spot a double spacing from across the room), I copy edited my friend’s doctoral thesis on a science subject I know nothing about (and she did super well because of it), and I love to write. Food, kitchen and hospitality are my main strengths, but I’ll take on parenting, babies and almost any other subject (not golf) because I also love to research. So, hit me up. I’ll put a website together with some examples of my work, so keep an eye out for that. And, if there are any of you out there reading this, hold thumbs for me? This is a big leap for this almost-32-year-old girl, and I really, really want it to work.

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