I have a problem with attaching guilt to food

So, this might be a bit of a rant, but I feel there’s a valid point to be made here, and Twitter just doesn’t have the space for me to air it.

I’m the first to admit that my relationship with food is not the healthiest. I have a long history of eating my feelings (for reference, the year we were planning our wedding and the daily cupcakes I ate as a way of ineffectively managing my stress levels). However, I’m seeing increasing references to “guilt-free” and “guilty” food from the media, bloggers, people, shops, everyone, and it concerns me. It concerns me deeply.

You see, there are two ways of approaching guilt:

  1. You imagine that eating “guilt-free” food gives you some sort of halo or immunity
  2. You imagine that eating “guilty” foods makes you some sort of demon

And neither of these approaches are healthy, to my mind at least. There’s been a huge movement towards “cutting out” food and “demonising” some food choices.

So here’s an idea:

How about we let people make their own choices about what to eat, how to eat and how to feed their families?

How about we look inwards, look at our own bodies, our own experiences with food and we let that be our guide as to what, how and how much to eat.

How about we stop looking at what other people are eating as a way of informing our choices?

What’s right for that girl on Instagram may not be right for you, and tying the negative emotion of guilt up in your food does nothing to improve your relationship with the very thing that nourishes you.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what food is. It’s been fetishised and over-analysed for so long that we’ve forgotten that the primary role of food is nourishment. Nourishment is a positive attribute. It prolongs and fosters life. It has the ability to prolong and foster relationships and friendships. And the more positive associations and relationships we have with food, the better off we’ll all find ourselves.

What I find healthy and what you find healthy may not be the same thing. I think we can all agree that we should eat more veggies, and if that manifests as veganism for you, well, that’s great. But assuming that eating “healthy whole grains and veggies” is healthy for everyone is just shortsighted. For people suffering certain dietary diseases and intolerances, the very thing you are touting as “guilt-free” and “healthy” may be just the opposite.

I can’t say it enough: what works for your body may not work for all bodies.

Your way is not the only way.

So, to end off, how about we stop attaching these negative emotions to food? How about we remember that it’s all about nourishment, and not about guilt? That would make the world a better place far quicker, at least to my mind.

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Going out alone into the big, wide world…

It’s a funny thing, but when you find yourself making your living from writing, you have less writing left in you for the private things. I wonder if that’s the same for everyone? I found that, when I started my last job, writing about food, kitchen things, and all the things that had occupied my ‘just for fun’ occupation of blogging, I no longer had any steam left for blogging. I used all my steam up for my 9-5.

Similarly, I now spend my days writing all manner of things (and sending emails, oh the endless emails), and it leaves very little brain space for other things.

However, today is the first day of doing this gig full time, and it’s made me think good and hard about how things are and where I’d like them to go. Since I left my job at the end of October to pursue the freelance writing life, my little boy had his time at daycare cut in half. So up until now, I’ve been doing a daily dance, where I rushed to drop him off, rushed home to get some work done, shower, feed the dogs, do the shopping, and then rushed off 4 hours later to fetch him. It’s been a wild 4 months, with Christmas and his daycare holiday (and very unproductive time for me) in the middle, but now I’m heading out into the wild west without a baby on my hip.

See, last month I had so many queries, requests and quotes that it looked as though the future was rosy, and that I needed much more time. Our day mom was encouraging me to let him go back full time, and truthfully, he gets much more stimulation from the other kids there than I can realistically give him. So we did it, and committed him back to full time, four days a week (we’ll stick to swimming class on Friday morning and spending the day with mom).

But now I’m facing 8-9 hour days alone with my computer (who am I kidding? I’m still working from my iPad until I can scrape together the money for a Mac – my PC snobbishness runs deep), and I’m wondering if this was the best decision?

So I guess this is my (wordy) way of putting it out into the universe. I’d like some more work, please. I’d like all your article writing, editing and proofing. I’d love to help you make sales and sense of your world, and take your words and help make them make magic. I’d love nothing more than to work with a variety of clients from all industries, and help them make their words make sense. It truly gives me a wonderful feeling to help bring words to life, and see my work out there in the world, helping.

If you know anyone in need of a writer, send them my way, ok? Thanks :)

What a great start to the year! We were burgled.

Wow, it’s 25 days into 2017 (well, 26 as I write this), and we were burgled. I came home from picking my son up from daycare, to find the alarm going off. Now, I’ve set the thing off plenty of times myself, and at first glance everything looked ok. I thought I had accidentally set it off myself. But once I went inside, I realised something was off, which was when I noticed an enormous hole in the front door.

My heart nearly leaped through my chest. I had just cancelled the armed response! In a panic, I called them back, frantic, worrying there was still someone here, and my baby was sleeping in the car! They were right outside, having come when I didn’t answer my phone. The burglars were gone, and so were both our TVs and a DVD player. None of them state-of-the-art, but still ours. And they left behind a gaping hole in the door, and one in my trust levels.

I work from home. I’m here pretty much every day, and most of the day. I work in the mornings, and fetch my son at lunch. We come home, eat, play, go to the park. I always lock up when we go out, but I don’t always set the alarm. I don’t sit here with our security beams on, cloistered inside the house. I let my son play outside, while I am inside (within earshot, and with frequent visits, because silent toddlers are scary). We leave doors open, I rarely lock my car once I’m parked inside. Why bother? I thought.

But today, my trust in my own home, my faith in the security of my space has gone. I have had the doors locked, the panic button next to my workspace, the security beams on all day. What would I have done if we had been home at the time? It appears as though they waited for me to leave, which I can only be grateful for. But why do I keep saying to myself and others “It could have been worse.” Yes, it could have. But why are there people who feel like they can walk into your house and take your things, violate your privacy, and walk out again with no consequences. How crap is our justice system, that someone can crowbar open a panel of your front door, safe in the knowledge that nothing will happen to them? 

Today, I feel sad, vulnerable and panicky. I also feel angry and pissed off that we have to live in a prison to protect what’s ours, while the perpetrators will never see the inside of one. Having experienced this once before, I know that this feeling will fade. But I don’t know how I will ever be able to leave my son to play unattended in the garden, like a child should, knowing that someone with a screwdriver and a crowbar can make their way into our home. How do you get back the trust?

Not Recipes and why I like them

I think it was Food52 who started Not Recipes. At least, that’s where I first saw the idea, and I loved it. You see, since I ‘learned’ to cook (mostly trial and error over quite a few years) I’ve been a ‘just wing it’ type of cook. I love cookbooks, I read them from cover to cover. I love looking up recipes, reading food blogs, and watching Masterchef. But I rarely follow a recipe to the T. For some reason, I simply can’t. And related to that is, I suppose, why I stopped food blogging. Do you know how hard it is to write a recipe when it’s completely counter to how you cook?

You see, the way I cook is driven by ‘Not Recipes’. I think of them as ideas for flavours that go together, little techniques and habits that form and inform the way I cook and what I make, and a mental list of successes in the past that I can build on. Occasionally, I’ll see a recipe that takes my fancy, and the first time I make it I’ll try to follow it, but usually end up substituting or changing the recipe somehow. Thereafter, I just wing it, then redo it from memory, until the outcome is how I want it to taste.

I was watching Masterchef Australia a little while ago, and in Nigella week, Nigella said something that so appealed to me, I wrote it down. She said, “you don’t feel like it, or feel like you’ll enjoy it, but the act of necessity, of having to get dinner on the table means you do it, and you enjoy it, and you get it done.” That quote might be a bit off the original, but what she was saying that it is the very act of necessity that means we do it, and in just doing it, we usually come to enjoy it.

I didn’t always love cooking. In my early 20s, when I was still learning, it was a pretty harrowing process which involved lots of packets you add water to and lots of over- and under-cooked food. Boiled chicken breasts and the mince I mistakenly added a ton of cocoa to (I had read about Mexican mole and was woefully under informed) are two of the major food lowlights of my learning days. But over time, the simple act of needing to be fed and then needing to feed other people meant that I got it done and, as I gained more confidence, I began to enjoy it.

So, while I plan to post more recipes here, you can be assured that they will probably remain badly photographed (because unless I can find a photographer/food stylist partner in crime, that ain’t gonna change), and they’ll be Not Recipes. Guidelines )that I hope you’ll have the confidence to try, but wing it where you need to) with lots of suggestions and variations. 

Because I think true enjoyment of cooking comes when your risks and trials are more successful than unsuccessful and you can have confidence in your ability to get a great meal on the table (and enjoy it).

Bliss balls not-recipe (without a food processor)

I don’t know about you, but seeing thousands of the same recipes for the same thing all across the internet can be a bit boring. Especially if they feature a piece of equipment you don’t have (Nutribullet/food processor/mincer/whatever). It can feel a bit limiting, like you can’t achieve those things without the equipment. 

Anyway, last friday was my son’s daycare Christmas party, and I know that these things involve Flings, chips, sweets and other crap, so it was important to me to send something that was delicious and sweet, without being full of sugar and other refined rubbish. Something I had a reasonable certainty my son, at least, would enjoy.

He’s a fruit bat. If it’s fruit, he’ll eat it, pretty much. He loves his ‘bapoo’ (apple) and ‘narnar’ (banana), and all other na-noms!! (Food he likes but doesn’t know the name of), and dried fruit (as long as it’s soft, is also a great favourite, especially when we are driving. 

After a bit of searching, I eventually came across a Bliss Balls recipe that used heat and a stick or jug blender to process the fruit, and I thought BINGO! I actually bought a food processor (at last!!) on the weekend, but last week when I made these, I didn’t have it. Come to think of it, though, I think I’d still use this method. It’s quick and easy, and there are minimal things to wash, which appeals to my incredibly lazy side.

Anyway, see what you think. These went down well with my boy, and the leftovers are living in the freezer for a sweet, healthy snack when we need one.


Makes about 44 1/2 inch balls

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup pitted dates
  • 2-4 pitted dried prunes
  • Water (just enough to cover the dates)
  • 1/2 cup mixed seeds (I had pumpkin, sesame and linseeds, I think)
  • 1 TBSP cocoa or cacao
  • 1 TBSP agave syrup (or honey, but I wanted to make this accessible for the little babies too)
  • Roughly 1 cup desiccated coconut (divided)

Method:

  1. Put the dates and prunes into a small pot, and just cover with water. Bring the pot to a boil, and turn down to a simmer. You want to soften the dried fruit so you can blend it more easily.
  2. Stir with a silicone spatula, and when the dried fruit starts to go mushy, turn off the heat.
  3. Add the seeds to the mixture in the pot and, using a stick blender, whizz it all up to an even consistency (you can do this in a jug blender too, but that means more washing up. Meh.)
  4. This mixture will be quite wet, thanks to the mushy dried fruit, so sprinkle in a little of the coconut and add in the cocoa and agave and stir to mix. 
  5. Keep adding coconut, mixing in beteeen additions, until the mixture seems dry enough to handle, while being sticky enough to roll into balls.
  6. Sprinkle the rest of the coconut onto a plate, and set aside.
  7. Using a levered ice cream scoop (I use the smallest size of these for everything), scoop out balls from the mixture and place onto a baking paper covered plate. You can leave them that size, they are great for adults, but I cut them in half, as I intended them for the babies.
  8. Once the whole mixture is in balls, refrigerate them for an hour or so to firm up.
  9. Then, roll each one in the desiccated coconut, and pop them into a container.

You’re done! I’m calling this a not-recipe, because I think it’s fairly forgiving. You need dried fruit that can be rehydrated, something like coconut or cocoa (or both) that will help to absorb some of the moisture, and some seeds for added nutrition. I’d like to try this with Turkish apricots and chia seeds, or apple slices and flax, just to try.

Also, the balls can be a bit of a faff, so you can also press the mixture into a baking paper lined cookie sheet or oven dish, and just sprinkle coconut over the top. Press the coconut in, and refrigerate to set, then slice into bars or blocks. Just as tasty, and probably easier to handle. Think I’ll try that next time #lazyAF.